Are My Celebrity Crushes Unhealthy?

Many of us have paused to ask ourselves why we feel such a deep connection to people we see on our screens. If you are like me, you might find yourself frequently escaping into a world of imagination. I have spent most of my life embracing my “fantasies,” and I would definitely describe myself as a “serial celebrity crusher.” Over the years, “fangirling has become one of my favorite pastimes.” These intense feelings usually start after I finish a great new movie or discover a talented musician. Before I even realize what is happening, I am deep in a cycle of “Youtube interviews, Tiktok edits, and fan fiction.”

I want to be clear: I am not necessarily “proud of being in love with the designated white boys of the month.” I am also “not completely delusional.” I fully understand that these famous figures do not know I exist and that I have never met them in person. However, that awareness does not stop me from “creating fake scenarios in my head.” It has become a part of my daily routine, and I find it “somewhat fun to be unrealistic.” While having these crushes is a very “normal” part of life, it is worth asking if they can sometimes “do more harm than good.” I decided to look into the research to see where we draw “the line is between having normal celebrity crushes and having an unhealthy obsession.”

Understanding the Parasocial Connection

In technical terms, these feelings are known as “parasocial relationships.” These are “one-sided feelings of imagined intimacy or friendship with a media persona who you don’t know personally.” To maintain this kind of connection, a person usually invests significant “time, devotion, and emotional energy.” Despite being one-sided, these bonds are incredibly frequent in our society and can even be “seen as productive” in certain contexts.

There are actually several benefits to having a healthy celebrity crush. According to psychotherapist Jason Ward, these feelings can provide “a way to test, desire, longing, and connection.” As humans, we are naturally wired to look for ways to “relate and have a tendency to affiliate.” Growing up as an only child, I became “very independent” early on. Because of this, I often turned to “fictional characters and celebrities” for “comfort and entertainment.” I often wonder if my own “desire to fit in” is what led to my long list of crushes. When I was younger, I truly believed that stars like “Corbin Bleu, Avan Jogia, and Nick Jonas were simultaneously competing for my affection.” During our formative years, these types of interests can actually help us “shape your identity,” find a sense of “belonging,” and even “increase self-esteem” as we navigate real-world social circles.

The Role of Attraction and Personal Values

Of course, we cannot ignore the fact that “attractiveness is definitely a factor.” I’ll be the first to admit I had a strong reaction after watching “Timothee Chalamet defile a peach in Call Me By Your Name.” However, the draw is often about more than just a pretty face. Research from Dr. Greenwood suggests that many fans look for deeper traits. People often cite “kindness, authenticity and humility” as the primary reasons for their devotion. We often choose to follow celebrities who seem to “reflect our own values, interests, and aspirations.”

Have you ever looked at a star and felt like they were “just like you”? I feel this way often. I truly “adore my celebrity crushes” and I find myself trying to “strive to be like them.” Even if it sounds a bit “crazy,” I honestly feel like “Doja Cat and I would be great friends.” The potential downside is that we are “making these judgments based on who we think these celebrities are.” We then start to “hold others up to these imaginary standards.” I am logical enough to know that a person with the “qualities and attractiveness of the members of BTS does not exist on this planet,” yet I still find myself wondering if these “high standards are the reason why I am single.”

The Digital Bridge: Social Media’s Influence

Social media has completely changed the landscape of the “parasocial relationship.” While these bonds remain “one-sided,” platforms like Instagram and X (formerly Twitter) make them “appear interactive.” This technology makes famous people “feel a little closer to us.” We start to feel like we are part of “their lives” because we see their “Instagram feeds,” watch their “live streams,” and “interacting with their content.”

This constant “overexposure” can make it hard to tell where “reality” ends and “fantasy” begins. This setup is great for the stars because we provide them with “revenue and popularity,” while we get “information and acknowledgement” in return. However, “celebrity culture can be toxic.” Not everyone deserves to be “held on a pedestal.” Our phones often give us a “distorted lens” that can “manipulate and persuade us.” I didn’t even find “Jack Harlow” particularly “attractive” until the “Tiktok” algorithm convinced me otherwise. Even if a celebrity shows up on your “For-You page,” it doesn’t mean they are actually “your best friend.”

When Crushes Become Unhealthy

So, when does a crush become a problem? Jason Ward suggests that it becomes “unhealthy” when a person begins “losing a grip on reality.” This happens when the realization that the “crush can never be reciprocated” leads to deep “feelings of emptiness, low self-esteem, and even depression.” A healthy interest should never “interfere with your ability to complete your responsibilities.”

Interestingly, some experts suggest that these fixations might be a “sign of burnout.” As a “college student,” I am constantly “exhausted,” so this makes sense to me. I have to ask myself: “Are my celebrity crushes ways for me to escape from my daily life?” While “consuming media” featuring my favorite stars helps me “relieve stress,” I am confident that I haven’t lost my “grip on reality” because I still “focus on my priorities.” (Though, “Michael B. Jordan if you’re reading this, I promise I’m super cool and chill.”)

Final Thoughts on Finding Balance

Many times, these feelings are a “product of isolation and loneliness,” especially following the “lack of social interaction during the pandemic.” I sometimes wonder if my interests are just a “reflection of my non-existent love life.” Seeing couples like “Zendaya and Tom Holland” makes me wonder “When is it my turn?” It’s a feeling that might be better suited for a “therapy session” than an article!

In the end, life can be difficult, and we should “hold onto the things and the people that bring us joy.” If your happiness comes from “rewatching that movie scene” for the hundredth time, there is “no judgment” here. I’ve personally watched “Henry Golding in Crazy Rich Asians” more times than I can count. Feel free to “send that thirst tweet” if it makes you happy—just ensure you aren’t crossing into “stalking or criminal activity.” There is a massive difference between “commenting on their latest post and breaking into their house.”

Celebrities can be a wonderful “source of inspiration.” Seeing stars like “Keke Palmer and Quinta Brunson” reach the top of their fields gives me the “motivation to pursue my own goals.” So, “continue to stan your favs.” These feelings are “normal,” but remember that your “crushes shouldn’t overshadow your relationships in real life.” We should always “put more time and energy into those in our lives” than into people we “don’t really know.” You can keep your “imagined version of love,” just remember it likely won’t be with that person on the screen.