The Medical Mystery That Left Three Doctors Speechless

The Case of the Itch

In the quiet, wood‑paneled waiting room of a prestigious clinic, an eighty‑year‑old woman sat with the posture of someone who had carried dignity all her life. Outwardly composed, she was inwardly troubled by a baffling annoyance—an itch that refused to leave her in peace.

When she was called into the first exam room, she explained her symptoms to a young, hurried physician. He barely listened before scribbling on a pad.
“Ma’am,” he said, “sounds like you’ve got the crabs. Common parasite.”

The woman stiffened, her eyes flashing.
“Doctor,” she replied firmly, “that is both medically and morally impossible. I am an eighty‑year‑old virgin. I have lived without a single indiscretion. I suggest you reconsider.”

Unmoved, he waved her out.

Determined, she sought a second opinion. This doctor, older and bespectacled, sighed after hearing her story.
“I’m afraid the symptoms still point to crabs.”

She rose again, smoothing her floral skirt.
“As I told the last man, I have been a virgin for eighty years. Your diagnosis defies logic.”

Still itching, she booked a third appointment—this time with a physician known for his careful attention. Before he could speak, she declared:
“Doctor, I have an itch that is driving me mad. But I am an eighty‑year‑old virgin. Two colleagues have accused me of crabs, and I will not hear it again.”

The doctor nodded thoughtfully.
“Then let’s take a proper look.”

He examined her carefully, silent as he worked. At last, he straightened, adjusting his coat with a peculiar half‑smile.
“Well, ma’am, you were absolutely right. It isn’t crabs. Your virtue remains intact.”

Relieved, she exhaled.
“I knew it. But what is causing this terrible itching?”

The doctor leaned closer, lowering his voice.
“To put it in medical terms… your cherry is so old, it’s attracted fruit flies.”